Mitski, 88Rising, and Change: A Musical Journey Through the Mind of Matthew

    If you could sum up the soundtrack of my childhood, you would have a mix of film orchestration, weeby anime songs, and most prominently, the entire musical library of the KOST 103.5 station. Yes, that squeaky-clean, family-friendly pop soundscape was what defined every single car ride of my early years. All of those Kelly Clarkson songs have been etched into my memory, but what I find more interesting is its blending of safe modern music with all of the number one hits that defined Generation X. Yes, I'm speaking specifically about New Wave and 80s music. 

      The reason my whole family would only listen to this station is that my Mom liked the music. It was nice music, and it also called back to a time where Gen X was young, and through the music, they could vicariously recall their youth. The problem with KOST 103.5 came in its format. All of the songs played were pop songs, and there was an unusual lack of genre within the radio. 

       When I was in elementary and middle school, I played in the school band. The trombone and french horn which I blew through sounded quite atrocious, but that was mainly due to my own lack of practice. The fondest memories I hold in those times were those of film music. While classical music was monotonous sound flowing through my ears, the tones and articulation of Star Wars entranced me, the dream-like qualities of Hisaishi scores sparked joy within me. Film scores felt grandiose, and gave a sense of fulfillment I had not found in other forms of music. It was then that I had two different genres under my belt. Pop and orchestral film music. 

    The anime phase truly is going to be a recurring theme, huh? So, one of the main eyecatches (Or earcatches) is the anime intros, or as a weeb would call them, anime openings. They condense the appeal of the show into a minute and thirty seconds, generally set to a vocal song. I was entranced by these intros. Their pulse-pounding guitars felt exhilarating, the vocals were all distinct and raw, and the melodies felt vastly different from anything that western music had to offer. Another one under my belt. 

        For the vast majority of my life, it was these three genres that offered me the most joy, the most solace, the most comfort. That's the key word. These songs were my comfort zone. I could always return to them whenever sadness hit, or when I wanted to feel joy. 

          As time went on, I slowly receded into this barrier, averse to any song that was not clean or cheerful. Kendrick Lamar? Could not care less. Red Hot Chili Peppers who? I avoided these artists (And still haven't listened to them) because their sounds were different. It didn't fit what I wanted music to be. All the trap beats littered through modern music felt unpleasant, as opposed to a smooth piano or string accompaniment. All the rock music's guitars never really fulfilling as a Japanese Band's songs. The pop music that climbed the charts had so many explicit lyrics that turned me away from them. The sound of the early 2010s had a wholesome and satisfying vibe, while the latter half of the '10s was consumed by rap songs which never sounded nice. 

       The scope of my musical knowledge and tolerance expanded somewhat when a music video appeared in my Youtube recommendations, for a song called "Nobody" by the singer Mitski. I listened to the song, and to my surprise, I quite enjoyed it. Nobody had a retro aesthetic that hearkened back to the disco era of the 70s, while also feeling modern through its clear rock baselines. 

     Encouraged by the positive reception I gave the first song, I discovered one more of her songs in the suggestions box of the Nobody video: Geyser. Geyser is a song that is very much evocative of its own title, housing a slow and almost haunting buildup leading to an explosion in the final 20-30 seconds of the track, with a rock sound that was harder than the general classic rock of the 80s, and with chords and actual melodies. I would say it would be my favorite song, but Vapor Trail/ Hikouki Gumo holds that title (The Wind Rises post coming soon!). Afterwards, I latched onto these two songs, along with "Terrible Love" by The National, as some of the few tunes that, while not of my own taste, were very much enjoyable. 

    For some reason, I treasured these three specific songs as a sort of breakthrough. They were vastly idiosyncratic to the music I had listened to, and I wished I could have tried to find further songs such as these. 

    Fortunately, I had recently befriended individuals who had shared a video of Rich Brian freestyling to the Tokyo Drift song. I was not amused at first, and I told them that. Rap music was always a no for me up until that point. Why the needless cursing and vile subject matters? Nothing facilitated the foul language used in these songs. Brian wasn't exactly helping the case. However, one recommended that I listen to NIKI  instead, and seeing as how I had been staying up late to finish a project for school, I figured, "Why not?" An extra two hours to listen to her discography wouldn't hurt. Through the two hours, I figured, "I could dig this." In particular, Around resonated with me, and that feeling of appreciating someone from afar even though you're not together. It remains one of my favorites to this day. Other stand out were Vintage, La La Lost You, and Lowkey. It was nice to see something new, and NIKI was a nice segue into uncharted territory. 

     Soon, I had gotten more than a few recommendations from my friends for other artists. Some of them I didn't like, and some of them I did. It was a work in progress. However, I was still clinging onto a couple few songs, and refusing to listen to anything else. I still resided within my own bubble, scared of what lied outside. Then, one day, I noticed something: The Asia Rising Forever concert. I thought I would share it with my friends, and ask them to do a concert night of sorts, just because I wanted to hang out with them. I wasn't there for most of it, but afterwards, I revisited the concert, and something had just clicked. It didn't matter what language or subject matter the artist was writing about. Their music was able to bring together so many people, and make them so happy. That's what was powerful about music as a medium. More so than any other medium, there's a feeling in the songs which can't be captured in other mediums. By exposing myself to so many artists, and seeing how people reacted to the music, it made me appreciate the sounds that define our current generation a lot more. 

    Now, I have found plenty of other artists, such as Beabadobee and Cody ChesnuTT, whose music I find very enjoyable to listen to, and I slowly burst the bubble I encased myself in. Now, I actively await music from my new favorite artists, and I share this anticipation with my friends. Now, my playlists are a mix of 80s, Jacob Collier, Kanako Ito, and Star Wars tunes. Now, there's a whole new world to explore, and I will embrace it, and welcome every second of it. 

   Someone that had really guided me during this quarantine, both inspirationally, and specifically muscially, was my friend Beatrice. Initially, I wasn't very familiar with her, but over quarantine, I just talked with her. A lot. She's very interesting, but she's easily approachable, something I feel like many people don't really have. She's kind, empathetic, humorous, and able to speak with me on a lot of different topics, not just school or music. She treats me like a friend, not like someone who's there to compare with academically. I often call her my senior mom, not just because I was searching for one, but because she an inspiration to me. She's an exceptionally giften STEM person who gives me hope that I can make it as an Engineer too, and she always encourages me to do my best, and supports me in many things I do (Including this blog). Beatrice, I'm so sorry for roasting you at the hangouts. This post is dedicated to her, as she helped me a lot during quarantine in discovering my tastes, but also for being my number one fan. Everyone has their queen. For some, its NIKI. For others, it's Mitski. For me, it's Beatrice. Thank you, Beatrice.